A therapist’s take on Dolly All the Time by Annabel Monaghan
Spoiler-light: I’m talking about the relationship themes, but I’m not giving away the moment that made me want to yell at these characters.
Not gonna lie, I picked up Dolly All the Time by Annabel Monaghan for one reason: Dolly Parton. I didn’t read the description. I saw Dolly’s name, added it to my TBR, and trusted the process. Also, I read this before Dolly passed away this August. RIP Dolly.
This was also my first book by Annabel Monaghan, and it definitely won’t be my last. The story was swoony, funny, and full of heart. I loved the characters, especially Stewart’s sister. She was hilarious, sassy, and honestly stole every scene she was in.
There was even a point where I thought the book could have ended, and I would have been completely satisfied. Then the moment happened.
No spoilers, because everyone deserves to experience that frustration for themselves, but suddenly my favorite cutesy characters had broken things off, and I was mentally begging Dolly and Stewart to get it together. Thankfully, the author redeemed herself with the ending. It gave me exactly what I wanted and left me closing the book with the biggest smile on my face.
Somewhere along the way, though, my therapist brain started paying attention to the relationship dynamics too. I kept coming back to one thought:
A good relationship can still have a really bad moment.
Sometimes we treat conflict like proof that the relationship is unhealthy, that we chose the wrong person, or that someone who really loved us would never hurt us. But relationships are rarely that simple. Even good relationships can include misunderstandings, disappointment, fear, hurt feelings, and moments when someone handles something badly.
What caught my attention wasn’t just that things fell apart. It was what happened afterward. Could Dolly and Stewart be honest about what happened without immediately getting defensive? Could they understand how their choices affected the other person, even when the hurt wasn’t intentional? Could they own their part without taking responsibility for everything? Most importantly, would anything actually look different afterward?
A big romantic gesture can absolutely be swoony, and yes, I still want one in my romance books. But real relationship repair takes more than finally admitting you love each other and kissing while the music swells.
An apology can open the door, but changed behavior is what rebuilds trust.
If Dolly Were Sitting Across From Me
I wouldn’t start by asking, “Okay, so who was right?” Even though, as a reader, I absolutely had opinions.
I would want to know what Dolly had been holding back before everything finally fell apart. What did she need but struggle to ask for directly? Where had she started making assumptions instead of asking questions? Did pulling away feel safer than staying present and saying, “This hurt,” or, “This is what I need from you”?
I might listen for beliefs that sound something like:
“If I tell the whole truth, I might lose this relationship.”
“If he really loves me, he should already know what I need.”
“It’s safer to pull away first than risk being rejected.”
“If I apologize, I’m taking all the blame.”
“One really painful moment must mean the whole relationship was wrong.”
These aren’t direct quotes from Dolly. They’re the kinds of beliefs I found myself wondering about while reading.
If Dolly Were My Client
We might talk about what made vulnerability feel so risky and why pulling away felt safer than staying in the conversation. I would also want to help her separate taking responsibility from taking all the blame.
There is a difference between saying, “I can see how my choices affected this relationship,” and deciding, “Everything that happened was my fault.”
We could look at how she might communicate what she needs more directly instead of letting fear, shame, or assumptions make the decision for her. We might also talk about what healthy relationship repair would need to include. Not just missing each other or getting back together, but talking honestly about what happened and actually doing something differently afterward.
The goal wouldn’t be to help Dolly avoid every disagreement or painful moment. It would be to help her stay connected to herself, say what she needs, and communicate more honestly when the relationship feels uncertain.
A Question for You
When something feels uncertain in a relationship, do you ask what is happening, or does your mind start filling in the blanks?
Do you say what you need, or hope the other person will figure it out?
And maybe the harder question:
When you feel hurt, do you stay in the conversation, or pull away before the other person has the chance to reject you?
A good relationship can still have a really bad moment. What matters is whether both people can talk honestly about what happened, own their part, and actually do something differently afterward.
If any of this felt a little too familiar, it might be worth getting curious about what keeps happening underneath the conflict. Therapy can be a place to understand relationship anxiety, communication patterns, fear of rejection, and the things that make it hard to say what you really need.
I offer virtual therapy for women in Oklahoma and Texas.
